Lately I’ve been thinking about things that I’ve missed out on or certain aspects of my life that could have been infinitely better had I not been overweight for the better part of these 22 years.
I look at old photos and I just want to throw them away, rip them into shreds so I never have to look at those bad memories. I can’t remember a time when I haven’t been overweight. I was always the bigger girl in the group, the girl who endured countless years of torment from cruel classmates.
I’m not saying school was unbearable for me. I had great friends but I was always the girl who just sort of laughed it off, which possibly was even worse.
Going on to college should have been my turning point. I should have snapped out of it, but I didn’t. I just gained and gained. I can write this retrospectively now that it’s been some months since I graduated, but I missed out on so many college crushes and date nights and midnight shenanigans.
Even my trip to London last summer is painful when I look back at the pictures that I actually did take. It hurts for me to admit that I intentionally didn’t take a lot of photos on that trip because I didn’t want to look back and see how overweight I was.
It’s been a constant battle but it’s over. I’m done shuffling in this heavy armor. It’s time to get back my life. I’m only 22. I have many life experiences that will make up for the 22 years wasted leading up to this point.
I’m so fucking ready for this change.